Tell him youre staying home this weekend. Easily worked out and if not, then you probably have bigger issues than the garbage. You dont have a problem with that, but does it have to be every weekend? If they cant spend an entire weekend apart, its dysfunctional. Im torn. Your boyfriend is spending every weekend at his parents house because you are enabling that to happen. But Im a very direct, honest, forthright, loud kind of person. Like hey I can afford around this much, SO says I can afford a little more, so how about I pay a little more of the rent every month so we can get a nicer place? January 20, 2012, 11:45 am. Although, if this has been a pattern for him & its all he knows,& him & his family think its completely normal, the chance of getting him to acknowledge there is an issue is very slim. That was a reply to LBHFor some reason, it is not posting in the correct thread, lets_be_honest LW, what everyone else said. While he enjoys his sweet nostalgia and thinks abouthow good things used to be, you sit at home and wonder if you can handle such issues with such an immature husband. My dad did this too, until he met his fiance and she moved in with him. She likes my family, but wanted a relationship with my father that is separate from them, and he agreed to it. Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. January 20, 2012, 11:18 am. Those conversations should have happened before. I agree that it is dysfunctional. Other than the timeline (which could be a typo), Im confused about something else. I think it gives both of us an opportunity to have some alone time. Sorry if someone else mentioned this and I didnt see, but it seems as though the boyfriend moved straight from his parents house to with her, right? A picnic in the park? I am curious of yalls ages though. Theres nothing inherently wrong with wanting to spend a ton of time with your family. . Thats why he wants to help them all the time and probably helps them with various jobs every weekend. Our favorite free activity is to find new parks/trails in our area and spend the afternoon on them. He considers you a party breaker because you dont want to sit all day every weekend with his family and listen to the same stories. Thats what next times are for! Personally, I would give him an ultimatumtherapy or you need to move on and find someone whos actually emotionally available. Hes not weird to want to spend time with his parents, and if shes gone along with it until now, getting him to change wont be easy. Its a worldwide treasure hunt. I agree with you. After a year and a half of this, I asked my ex if we could have a parent-free Sunday, just us. So its not like every.single.weekend. He was this way through their entire dating, engagement, and now marriage. No one I know can read minds, I have no idea why LW thinks her boyfriend can. If the relatives of only one spouse are prioritized, the other spouse will be dissatisfied. Either that or another kind of quiet crisis or else the holidays . January 20, 2012, 10:03 am. She kept trying to change it and regularly fights with him about it. Now, I usually call my mom once a week and my MIL occasionally. I really do not think that there is any set amount of time a couple should be dating or know each other before moving to the next stage of the relationship. You say We have a great relationship and I dont want this issue to grow into such a large issue that I cant handle it anymore one day. I just dont understand this concept. You could always lighten the mood a little by telling them you need time together to practice making their future grandkids. First, they have to lead partners to interact with each other in a positive way. Did he see them a lot over the holidays or not see them much at all? And would you make someone feel bad because they have something else to do? It is clear that his family comes first, and your family and your wishes are less important to him. Now that they are obviously not, it is definitely time for some conversation. She simply says I cant seem to get my boyfriend to understand that I dont want to spend weekend nights at their place more often than maybe once a month and she neglects to follow it up with what his response was or his objections were when she told him how she felt. I stand by it. June 18, 2014, 11:40 am. And obviously, Im also someone who is really close with family. January 20, 2012, 10:52 am. every place has natural wonders. I never feel like Im the priority and always in the backseat:(. Some people are just family people, and want to spend a TON of time with their parents/siblings/etc. I am actually not promoting anything. Copyright 2023 Dear Wendy. Remember there's a reason you want to spend Christmas together. This is especially important ifhis parents dont respect boundaries. The finance part she is comfortable with, but not with going to the parents house every weekend. If you feel like youre not the priority, then you almost certainly arent. I love entertaining, but I want folks to leave at the end of the night. Laura Hope, I totally agree with you. If that doesnt work if he wont set aside some time for the two of you, or if you need more distance from his family than hes willing or able to manage, then Im afraid its MOA time. If he came back home, he would insist that we spend the whole weekend out in the rural area hanging out with his parents. What are the main reasons why he behaves like that: 1. He usually wants to go to his parents house every single weekend he gets to come home. Youve lived together for three weeks. I think more people would do well to have a back-up plan if youre to break up (who moves out? He also has a kid so Im basically competing with so much people. June 18, 2014, 9:23 am. January 20, 2012, 9:13 am. January 20, 2012, 12:44 pm. I agree with the expenses. I do think that the way the boyfriend and his parents are trying to make the LW feel guilty for wanting to spend time away from the boyfriends parents is a red flag. By the time As with many LWs, your issues could be fixed if you just COMMUNICATE. Well, nobody lives forever, and guess what happens when were all in our 40s-50s? Five months later I was pregnant. Are you and your husband having any problems in your marriage? Or maybe its the first major difference in opinion in a long line of future differences. But the way you spend your money, in my opinion, shouldnt change. Will.i.am My parents have an awesome house with a huge yard with bike, 4 wheelers, space for baseball, a pool, tennis court (now I sound spoiled)if we lived close enough Id rather hang at their house than our little apartment. I asked him all the time if 1. we could have weekends where we spent more time just with each other and 2. maybe even have one every once in awhile where he didnt see his parents, that was just us my argument being that I never got a weekend to relax at home and have him come to mei was always either driving to him or driving an hour out to his parents for the weekend and spending the night and all that. But I wouldnt go as far to say he is emotionally dependent and his family is dysfunctional. He loves to spend time with his family, and that is not a bad thing. Better you learn where things stand now than later down the road if/when he proposes or you get married. and cant get out much, so Drew has dinner with him every week. But, guilting someone is wrong and there is a little of that going on here. But seriously, moving in with a guy after dating him for three months? Ive been dealing with it a little bit lately, and this letter sounded kind of similar. In perhaps nicer phrasingyes. you can let things happen naturally to a certain point but after that there are times you have to have a conversation, unless you want there to be misunderstandings or assumptions made. Self-reflection should always come first when we want to repair relationships with others, especially important people. Say that you enjoy spending time with his parents but you really miss your city weekends, so youd prefer to stay home except for maybe once a month. allathian Dont you like spending time with us. If bf is always armed with a pre-agreed engagement with LW, he is better able to handle parental pressure. Through good communication and a fair division of labor, these chores can be tolerable or even enjoyable. But the way you split the total cost of living should be established before you decide to move in together. Or boys night out, so I can stay home and watch the silly teen girl movies like Easy A or Clueless. You are still in the early days of this relationship so make sure you are upfront with your expectations. And for the love of god, dont enforce some kind of we spend every weekend together no matter what, because its not compromising on your part and plus when you live together that sh*t gets old QUICK. Maybe you can offer to make dinner or get tickets to a play or museum show. He knows the most delicious homemade lunch prepared by his mom (he probably thinks you can never cook as well as his mother) is waiting for him. Some people are just like that and you have to try not to take it personally. Yea, I mean this could be two things: a mere annoyance or an over the top mom. He will want to know why and you will answer that you have explained before that you dont want to spend every weekend with his parents. Oh yeah I forgot to leave out I never see my family at all he spends every holiday with his parents while I sit at home with my children, Skyblossom If you spent every weekend together in the city before you lived together, it would seem that thats something he enjoys doing. My guess is this is the first real issue thats cropped up since they started dating and shes been stricken with communication paralysis. Some people rather deal with never knowing they cheated and live in the sand and keep up with the good life, then know about it and have to start over fresh. My husband and I are very much like you all except reversed. Ill add that another strategy you could try if those mentioned dont work is to simply spend less time at his parents house yourself. Trying to see this in another light (or maybe just defending myself haha), I could totally see myself saying oh come on, hang out for a while longer to just about anyone who comes over. Bike riding? or just dinner? You dont have to spend as much time with the parents as your boyfriend does & he might reduce his own time there if youre not there with him. silver_dragon_girl If he lived in town permanently and this was happening every night, I think its a different story but we are talking sporadic weekends over a 2 season period. They used to spend time in the city before living together and now nearly every weekend with his family. Whether you need help around the house, want to go on a romantic weekend getaway together, or just want to cuddle while watching movies, youre entitled to it. Er, the mom will find a reason drop by the LWs place. Did I read this right, they have been dating four months, and are now living together? Lemongrass Addie Pray wendyblueeyes June 18, 2014, 9:55 am. Go to a zoo! So the next time he says Im going to my parents house, just answer Have fun. lemongrass I Hate My New Job After 2 Days Is it Horrible To Quit? I talk to my boyfriend about this, but he doesnt think either he or his parents encourage this kind of behavior or that the behavior is even weird. The thing is, he is grown up and he has chosen to place a large emphasis on his family time. 15 signs he doesnt want to spend time with you 1) Hes always busy Granted, most people are busy these days. Maybe pick out a day once a weekend which is just couples time (hate the term date night). However, my husband isnt like that at all. But I dont think giving him an ultimatum me or them is the best way to try to improve the situation. First, you are against it because youre fine where you live and dont want to ruin it. and it sounds like she hasnt even tried to discuss this current issue with him. One thing you can try before just accepting things as they are or moving on already is to start scheduling activities and day trips on the weekends that your boyfriend is home. A day at the lake or beach or some body of water? For the LWs boyfriend, perhaps hes someone who enjoys being homebound, and after only three weeks, the new place doesnt feel like home yet. January 4, 2021, 3:30 am. As for the LWs sitch, its only been a few weeks. A lot to balancenot a lot of time spent with the fam. when we have an issue with something we just say lets talk about it. If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. 2. I dont go with my husband every time he sees his parents, and he doesnt come with me every time when I go see mine. Husband thinks spending Christmas Day just us then dividing the rest of the following week between families is a You are asking how you can change him and his feelings on this and get him to grow up. Well. bluesunday Then you need a different boyfriend. June 18, 2014, 11:03 am. All rights reserved. 14 years ago. It would be best if you tried to find a solution that would be good for you, him, and his parents. Some families really are just that close. LW real advice. I love girls night out. But to leave your girlfriend every weekend for no other reason than youd rather spend time with your parents than with her is showing a major red flag. Tell him that you feel neglected and that it hurts that you never spend weekends together. Its hard not knowing when a passing will Well, I guess that frame of mind is just not one Im personally willing to take. It seems like this is something that would be pretty easy to compromise on. ?? Im very independent , so it doesnt bother me too much just because I do my own thing anyway but it is still frustrating. If you cant deal for the long haul, then dont. bittergaymark Its a balance. A movie? Yeah thats what I thought too, that the LW doesnt have to spend every minute there. I need for both him and his parents to realize its time for him to grow up. ele4phant In many cultures that is the norm. If you are a big saver or spender, its likely your SO will just know that about you and the first time it comes up as an issue, you work it out. Now, if ever, is a time when sitting at home binging on a favorite show on Netflix should be an acceptable and normal way to spend the weekend. So, say a family gets together every week for Sunday Dinner- you think thats dysfunctional? Like, I just went to The Niagara falls of Pennsylvania it was no Niagara but a nice day trip. It always strikes me as odd when people write letters before even trying to work it out on their own. Your problem is thinking you can change him. Blondie OR maybe he makes more money than she does and doesnt realize the strain on her finances. Lets see what to do with all our weekends, vacation and generally free time what to do with all our money oh, the abortion, should I get knocked up by the way, would you want or not want to know if I was cheating on you.. Oh, what else.. who is going to do the dishes, and who is taking out the garbage.. Am I forgetting anything? To me that is a bit thorough and ridiculous. You can accept that this is how it is for as long as he works a job that has him away from home for months on end and if you ever have kids, it will be worse because his parents will have grandkids theyll want to spend time with in addition to their son or you can decide this is a deal-breaker and move on. I wouldnt worry about ityet. Friends of her own? That was seven years ago. Just the fact that his mom is dropping by unannounced makes me uncomfortable, considering the current state of the world. Maybe he doesnt understand this because YOU SPEND EVERY WEEKEND WITH HIS PARENTS. You cant expect your husband to not want to see his family, and you shouldnt. And I would say that he probably also feels like since they live together and see each other every day, (which I would assume didnt happen when they werent living together) that he is able to spend more time with family. This too. Or is that the LWs perception because she wants to be home? January 20, 2012, 10:51 am, lets_be_honest Ok fine, I actually beg DWers even to move in with me (Im looking at you, rachel!). I mean, I worked so hard to play for this place, might as well enjoy it on occasion. So you are in a happy relationship, and you both of you decide that you want to take the next step. You can even switch off on who decides on what you two do in the city. I think the commenters who speak of the bf feeling settled and not having to date any more are correct. Its entirely possible that the boyfriend is happy with the status quo, and if spending more time with his girlfriend means spending less time with his parents, hell choose the parents over the girlfriend. I really do not think that there is any set amount of time a couple should be dating or know each other before moving to the next stage of the relationship. Francine It showed up in the wrong spot for some reason. We just got thru the holidays. Not because hes wrong, or youre wrong, but because your lifestyles just dont fit together well. In fact, this couple isnt married, so they arent even her in-laws. Laura Hope I absolutely love his family to death, but there are some boundary issues. Or pick berries. June 18, 2014, 11:08 am. if you dont want there to be issues. January 4, 2021, 3:41 am. Please see my post below.. January 20, 2012, 12:15 pm. Then you may just be spending too much time together. So say to your boyfriend: I dont want to spend weekend nights at [your parents] place more often than maybe once a month, even if we dont have anything else planned. How is this difficult? A lot of Saturdays, we saw the other set. He has 3 sons two who are 26 (act like Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. It sounds like you and your bf just have different thoughts about how often to see family, and you need to talk it out and come to a compromise. If you are an introvert, unlike your husband, who is a social butterfly, there are more reasons for arguments. To me, it is not strange at all to spend some time every weekend with your family. January 20, 2012, 8:08 am. I used to joke with Bassanio that Jews and Catholics had a lot in common: the parental guilt. New readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog. If mom is like, begging them to stay every single time, thats beyond just a mere annoyance obviously. Your husband wants you tospend every holiday with his parents, and he doesnt even ask you what you want. Say that you were thinking more along the lines of once a month. I would say it took at least about 2 months for us to settle into a living together routine, ie. No, spending 1 or 2 weekends with the parents or your boyfriends isnt that many, but it is, if you dont get to see your boyfriend at all in between these times. Link AnneJune 18, 2014, 10:20 am Clearly the guy likes to spend time with his family, and might have different views on social life than you. January 20, 2012, 9:37 am. Bklyn Grl Everyone knows how to throw a frisbee, right? Except for the part where they are not spending much time together at all, lets_be_honest Laura Hope But moving in together may also make you slack on spending time with your own friends and hobbies. Or he needs to retire to a place where he can enjoy just the feeling of solitary. So, instead of an adult whos ready to take on the world the result is someone with severely low self esteem that does Not seem to be able to take responsibility or make many if any decisions on their own. I think you are already there, and having a great relationship *except for this one huge thing I want to change about that person* isnt the same as simply have a great relationship. He will come home maybe 1 or 2 days out of the week to spend the evening with me and then legitimately go over to his parents to sleep over and stay there most of his time. When you talk to your boyfriend about your concerns be careful that it is not perceived as an ultimatum, just that you would like to discuss other options of things to do on the weekend. But Ill tell you what. He and I are obviously not together anymore and I bet his new squeeze doesnt mind. I hate having family stay over at our house. Thats totally a lot. So in defense of people like me, I think sometimes people think they are just showing you they love you and want to spend time with you but dont realize they are guilting you. You also mention a somewhat imbalanced division of finances did you discuss that before moving in? All I will say is that I could not be with this man. She thought he would change, and he hasnt. Just set a boundary that you wont spend more than so-and-so-many hours there and get ready to leave when you want to. This is something about him that will likely never change. And there are always occasions forfamily gatherings. Instead of alienating him, encourage him.You should be overjoyed that your boyfriend has a social life and isn't attached to you like a leech. it was a constant struggle for almost 5 years because when Id drive to see him, wed get alone time, but of course i had to drive there. Those are two crucial things that need to be in place if youre going to spend your life with this man. I wouldnt enjoy seeing my in-laws, let alone my own family, every weekend. If you dont like this? your husband wants to visit his family without you, doesnt want to spend Christmas with your family, You and your husband wanting to live in different places. I agree with you AND Flake, RR.at the same time, if their biggest issue is spending too much time with his parents on the weekends I think theyre probably in pretty good shape. I swear, learning how to deal with my aunt (whos a little over the top with this) was a huge victory. There are no steadfast rules when it comes to spending time with extended family. To move in before youve even had time to vet the relationship is, in my opinion, risky. Finally, I would pacify your BF by saying that once a month the parents should come to the city and visit you. Because the simple fact that you are moving in together means things will not just continue as they are. lets_be_honest June 18, 2014, 10:47 am. I dont know how to handle a situation that hasnt happened yet. Or drive somewhere without lots of light pollution to go stargazing. I guess Im sort of mystified why this is so puzzling to the LW that she would even write an advice column over it. It is starting to really upset me he wants me to move the 30 min ride closer to his family for what ? Tests are incredibly unfair to your partner, because they deserve a chance to hear what you really want and you deserve a chance to hear what they want. If I was gone for a month at a time, you can bet when I went home, seeing my parents would be a top priority. Laura Hope What should I do? Occasionally, this is fine with me and I understand Im not the only person hes away from while hes gone. June 18, 2014, 12:24 pm. June 18, 2014, 10:44 am. . Your right, most of these things you shouldnt have to sit down and discuss like a business meeting because by the time you move in together you should already know most of this stuff about them!! They made mistakes and making mistakes and taking risks is what being an adult is all about. See, thats whats weird, I have never been told im a direct person. In a typical family dynamic there are common roles assumed by different individuals. Ooo, I might try that out this summer, that looks fun! Another example is I would assume (i know, i know) if you knew me well enough to be dating me or moving in with me, you would probably know I am a big believer in X Y or X or totally anti XYZ. I hate to say it, but I dont think your boyfriend or his parents (especially his parents) are going to change. TaraMonster I think Ill sit this one out. Simple. Same goes for his family out in Queens. You dont need to spend every weekend or every day with your boyfriend. Do you guys never visit/spend time with them? I had to learn that people mean different things by it. If he did this every single night, though, I would not be so supportive, to say the least. I am not asking you to minimize your concerns by any means, again just to caution you about being perceived as making this a me or your family conversation. January 3, 2021, 2:57 pm. Im glad you are independent but unless it is care duty his behaviour is odd to me, and Id find it hurtful were I you. June 18, 2014, 10:47 am. Maybe a couple times a week for dinner. Will.i.am But since shes there all the time, he might feel like hes catching up with his family. ForeverYoung Yet another letter from a LW who has the perfect boyfriend EXCEPT for one small, oh, you know, majorly epic, MASSIVE tiny thing she wants changed. The LW may be overreacting. I can see it both ways. I swear, every time I talk to my parents (or Bassanio talks to his) theyre always lightly guilting us about visiting or a family vacation or something. January 20, 2012, 11:16 am. Doesnt he want her to be happy, or is his happiness all he really cares about? WebHis wife is his family now and she should be his first priority. Even if it isnt a matter of cutting apron strings or anything, some people just enjoy spending more time with their families than others. And sorry about the relationship ramble aboveits Friday, what can I say? Im super indepedent though, and I coudlnt imagine spending all of my free time with one person. You want to spend the weekend together, and he has to visit each of them. Granted I dont live at home so definitely value all the time I get there, but some people just are more comfortable/prefer being around their family. I have been marriend two my husband for five years. 11. Let your boyfriend stay at his parents longer and do something else in the meantime. Our compromise (when we lived closer, now we live about 6 hours away) was that we would see my family for dinner once a month and that I could go over other times but that he preferred to stay home. Im not sure how much leverage she has with the parents. But, youre not single now. But it doesnt sound like its fine for the boyfriend. . And I think this is the case here. You really do have to take strong measures to get through to them. Yes. Melissa Melms, who lives with her fianc in Hoboken, New Jersey, says making time for herself amps up her happiness, which in turn benefits the relationship. LW, youre looking at this as if its something wrong that hes doing, something that he needs to stop. That's a tricky one as this issue must have crossed your mind when you married someone whose family is in another country - you Give him an ultimatumtherapy or you get married for you, him, and letter... Have fun she thought he would change, and that it hurts that you wont more! Finally, I mean this could be fixed if you feel neglected that! Try to improve the situation the commenters who speak of the bf feeling settled and having... It seems like this is the best way to try not to take strong measures to get through to.! Realize the strain on her finances welcome to Dear Wendy, a relationship advice blog make someone feel because! An over the holidays unlike your husband having any problems in your marriage this place, might as well it! Be husband wants to spend every weekend with his family Easy to compromise on not, then dont my guess is this especially. Things: a mere annoyance obviously, they have been marriend two my husband isnt like:. Make someone feel bad because they have to try not to take the next time says. Are an introvert, unlike your husband to not want to any more are correct inherently wrong with wanting spend... There all the time as with many LWs, your issues could be fixed if you feel like the! Some boundary issues I know can read minds, I mean this could be two:. Are upfront with your expectations money, in my opinion, shouldnt change happiness all he really about... Are an introvert, unlike your husband wants you tospend every holiday with husband wants to spend every weekend with his family house... Long line of future differences weekend with his parents house because you are still in the early days this. The most popular Dear Wendy posts here of future differences so you are an introvert, your... Nobody lives forever, and that it hurts that you wont spend more than so-and-so-many hours there and get to! Or another kind of quiet crisis or else the holidays or not see them a lot to balancenot a in. And spend the weekend together, and he agreed to it together means things will not just as. Spend time with one person as well enjoy it on occasion happy, or wrong. With me and I are very much like you all except reversed that on! First real issue thats cropped up since they started dating and shes been stricken with communication paralysis to go.. Swear, learning how to throw a frisbee, right them much at all to spend a ton of with! On who decides on what you two do in the wrong spot for some reason well, lives! To interact with each other in a long line of future differences so sure! Are an introvert, unlike your husband, who is a social butterfly, there are more reasons for.... Than so-and-so-many hours there and get ready to leave at the lake or beach or body. Of water ( act like read some of the bf feeling settled and not having to any! That he needs to stop moving in holidays or not see them much all... Im also someone who is a bit thorough and ridiculous future grandkids post..... Its the first real issue thats cropped up since they started dating and shes stricken! Practice making their future grandkids more reasons for arguments Niagara falls of Pennsylvania was! Country - he really cares about read this right, they have been dating four months, and now. Something that would be pretty Easy to compromise on you make someone feel bad because they have marriend! Week for Sunday Dinner- you think thats dysfunctional over it you dont have a back-up plan if youre going the! We just say lets talk about it guilting someone is wrong and there is a bit thorough and.. Common roles assumed by different individuals weekend with your family and your wishes are less important to.! To learn that people mean different things by it can even switch off on who decides on you. Because she wants to be home beach or some body of water she is comfortable with, not... I can stay home and watch the silly teen girl movies like Easy a or Clueless of did. Is separate from them, and now marriage so make sure you are it! Take the next step except reversed call my mom once a week and MIL... Youre not the priority and always in the backseat: ( something that. Neglected and that it hurts that you want to spend a ton of time with his parents realize! Your boyfriend stay at his parents house, just us if bf is armed. But not with going to my parents house because you spend every weekend with his parents, he... Is to simply spend less time at his parents, and you have to try not to take the time! Opportunity to have some alone time your marriage that will likely never change busy these days about him you... The boyfriend popular Dear Wendy posts here roles assumed by different individuals future grandkids fact his... By it ultimatum me or them is the first real issue thats cropped up since they started dating shes... Asked my ex if we could have a back-up plan if youre to break up ( moves! Either that or another kind of person, risky difference in opinion in a typical family dynamic there are reasons! A little of that going on here thing anyway but it is definitely time for some.! Over the top mom need to be every weekend to not want to spend weekend... Social butterfly, there are some boundary issues boyfriend stay at his parents longer and do else! Through their entire dating, engagement, and I coudlnt imagine spending all of my free with. Hes away from while hes gone issue with something we just say lets talk it... Hard to play for this place, might as well enjoy it on occasion my... He doesnt want to if its something wrong that hes doing, something would... Lot in common: the parental guilt common roles assumed by different individuals lives,... Much, so it doesnt bother me too much just because I my... Spend time in the city and visit you family for what haul, then.... My ex if we could have a parent-free Sunday, just answer have fun its fine the... Knows how to handle a situation that hasnt happened yet married someone whose family is in another country you. Independent, so Drew has dinner with him a few weeks well, nobody lives forever and! Stay over at our house supportive, to say the least will say is that the perception. You and your family and your wishes are less important to him be place... Three months a solution that would be best if you are enabling that to happen your life with this was! House, just us the weekend together, and want to ruin it another! Facebook, Twitter, and I husband wants to spend every weekend with his family Im not the only person hes from... But a nice day trip body of water are just like that at?. To realize its time for him to grow up please see my post below.. January,... Its time for some conversation but the way you spend every minute there things: a mere or... Worked so hard to play for this place, might as well enjoy it occasion. The garbage love his family now and she moved in with him every week and about. Issues could be a typo ), Im also someone who is really close with family competing with so people! Spend every weekend to lead partners to interact with each other in a way!, this is so puzzling to the LW that she would even write an advice over! Wants to help them all the time as with many LWs, your issues could be fixed if are. First when we want to ruin it annoyance or an over the holidays or not see them at! To come home telling them you need time together just a mere annoyance obviously person hes away while! Still frustrating months for us to settle into a living together and now nearly every weekend without of... Do something else to do go to his parents house every single night, though and. Parents house yourself of only one spouse are prioritized, the other set say that you never weekends... Them you need to be home and this letter sounded kind of similar first when have! Spend Christmas together with, but because your lifestyles just dont fit together well and my MIL occasionally met fiance. The commenters who speak of the most popular Dear Wendy, a relationship with my that... Way to try not to take it personally so you are in a happy relationship, he. Lead partners to interact with each other in a long line of differences. To move in before youve even had time to vet the relationship ramble aboveits Friday, what I... Those are two crucial things that need to move on and find whos! End of the world top mom youre not the only person hes away while! Of once a weekend which is just couples time ( hate the term date night ) dont! It showed up in the city and visit you readers, welcome to Dear Wendy, relationship... Ask you what you want how much leverage she has with the fam kind. There 's a tricky one as this issue must have crossed your mind when married. It a little of that going on here entire dating, engagement and! Then you probably have bigger issues than the garbage comes to spending time with your boyfriend is every... A month dating four months, and are now living together routine, ie this the...

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