It may be time to step back and focus on yourself. If you would like to talk to a therapist or counselor, you can use our site to locate one in your area. In fact, research has shown that this feeling of insecurity may boost levels of a stress hormone, and can even lower your immune system, according to Kathleen Doheny on WebMD.com. There are groups out there for you as a caregiver who can help you through this too, and I think that if you found the right provider for her that could help develop the right treatment plan for her they would be willing to help you find a program that will match your needs too. But this might not work or end tragically also. Im different then most I let her know I care everyday and all day but at same time I have tons of hobbies that detract from everything. All efforts made on my part were in vain. She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. She no. (All is Hell) Except, Im still struggling a bit through this transition and have lately had more thoughts of giving up in general, than positive ones. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. I've been with my girlfriend for about a year and recently she has made a big deal about wanting me to start coming along to her work events. Ive been with my girlfriend for ten years, starting in college. It would be way worse, and if you leave, then the relationship wouldnt be as big of a crutch and she and you can move on and grow. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? Look man its getting to the point where youre gunna have to tell some form of authority, whether it be the police or something else either way, shes gunna bring you down if nothing changes and youll become just like her in a flash. The one thing that I would ask that you do before making any kind of rash decision is to think about this- if you know how helpless you feel, can you imagine how helpless she feels too? Her depression, anxiety, and friendship with her ex brings me down & she gets mad at me for it, saying Im not letting her be honest with herself because she get hurt when I tell her Im hurt. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. I am really surprised to see that there is so many cases of difficult relationships, and also that persons who write here are mostly guys dealing with broken girlfriends. You might also want to look for a caretakers support group. The GoodTherapy.org Team. I do everything I can to help her, but I feel like I'm just propping her up, and despite the medications she's taking she doesn't seem to ever improve. Also, if her depression has lasted for years with no improvement, it might be time to look at changing the treatment plan. Now she stopped the medications for a month ago, and still no affection what so ever. She also will fail in it, many times, probably hurting you, but she will go on. Tristen, Armand, sounds like your girlfriends have real life boyfriends too. Taken from Revenge Of The Goldfish. Also, it is very important that a psychiatrist, and not a general practitioner, be managing her medication. We are thinking of you and wishing you and your partner the very best! Do something romantic. But you're dragging me down, down, down, down. Mariella Frostrup tells him to stop always looking on the bright side. Should I leave her be and wait for her to consult me? Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. My girlfriend's depression is bringing me down Wellbeing Medicines Pregnancy & Parenting Conditions Follow Ask the expert My girlfriend's depression is bringing me down I am living. My ex boyfriend left me because I was depressed all the time. Let her take the step and compliment her if she completes it. It was new to me and i didnt know exactly how depressed people behave. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. Shes 30 but she isnt mature enough to have any responsibility, I pity for it. When someone puts you down, deal with it by not immediately reacting to him. It was me rationalising my emotions. she undergoing medications and therapy but nothing could help her. I dont know if that is the case with you too. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. According to psychologist Salama Marine, your pattern could be emotionally draining if "you . If the answer is yes, talk with your partner ASAP. And the woman that i am dating right now which i do hope that my relationship lasts with her since like i mentioned earlier i really do love her very much. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. were so messed up its insane. I see her every weekend, during the week I keep to myself play video games, homework, go over to a friends for a beer. She might miss you. Im fed up though. Breaking up is my last option but a considerable option because the fact that she is just not paying attention to me, everything is about her and her thoughts only. i feel it but i but i just cant deal with being her friend in school and more outside, i cant do it in school. We have to get our sh#t together or be ok with being alone and broke or God forbid settle for the girl were all here talking about. I also feel now a little bit insecure, because in need he left me and I have impression that it might happen again if anything else bad happens. I dunno maybe thats just me. You may also try this, what my boyfriend did: he said he is leaving me cause it is too hard for him, he left me for two painful days, then he told me that he will be back, but in some time. He has put me last every time. "Usually, there is a lack of open and honest communication between the couple," say Opperman. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. A. I have been through many websites reading about relationship breakdowns when a partner is depressed and the most common thing is how the non depressed partner is feeling totally drained and feel their life has gone down hill leading them down the road to depression. It is your life too. And one last thing, she really wants to be again successful, beautiful, smart, witty, and attractive for you more than anything else. What's my issue, and what steps can or should I take that would help both her and me? From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. I am very patient and always will be because in my mind we love each other and relationship may not be perfect sometimes but thats okay in my eyes. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. Thank you for sharing. ! I have asked him to go to the docs last year he was given anti depressants but only took them for a month !!!! I really hope that it is it. I am sometimes even tempted to leave her because she is holding me down (work/school). There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. That left me with a perspective of loosing someone I really love and also left space for me to think about it in safe environment. ), It can also really take you by surprise. She didnt even try to make the effort in keeping the conversation going and Im always the one who care about her when she doesnt give a thought about me and keep immersing herself in her depressive world. She posts lots of hurtful things on her networks, she gets only and doesnt talk to me, shes alway leaving to something, she doesnt seem to care about things Ive got to say, shes no longer responsive or interested and shes been pretending fun, she doesnt seem to care at all anymore, and when I openly say how this has been hurting me and how things changed drastically, she always blames her condition, that she is really depressed and in mood swings, but she no longer let me be closer, she no longer wants to talk. Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. Therapy and meds nothing will work. She questioned our status, then says if we are a couple we should act like one (she is always busy and making plans with friends so I leave her be) which she doesnt like. but she made fun of me she said she wasnt going to read this BS. About me and my girlfriend! She has to take control of her own mind if she ever wants to get better. Ive been there, multiple times. The reason Yt5s.io is the best youtube downloader . And it started to bring me down even more. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. The best I could do for him was to let him go and wished him happy. I wanted to cope with it on my own, I thought that I would be finally feeling proud of myself if I could fix myself. Two nights ago after a weekend of not really talking that much as she was very down and I was super busy with work, we spoke on the phone and she told me she needed to be alone and deal with this, because her depression was the worst its ever been. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. This kept kappening and only got worse I had to see him every day and if I didnt he would kick off and make me feel worse than dirt. First two years went well. When that happens, it may be time for some serious reflection. She has now admitted to me that she has battled with depression since she was a teenager (she is 26). You have to tell her when she hurts you. She doesnt like me going out to see my friends, she gets inconsolable whenever I do anything that doesnt involve her, even if I tell her about it weeks in advance. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. And this is where our problems come in. But youre so young and its not very obvious but so many people go through this at some point in their lives because life truly is pretty messed up. I want her to be happy, and I hope you guys are luckier than me. To me all of these modern mental issues we see are a result of too much free time, too many choices and the conveniences we enjoy. I have a lower sex drive than hers. Im not really looking for advice with this, just getting something off my chest to the world. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. I also have depression. Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. Apparently she doesnt really talk to anyone anymore she wants to be left alone. I love her, but she needs to help herself before she can focus on a relationship with me. When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a bad mood, i can only sometimes cheer her up. These are just a few questions you and your spouse should sit down and discuss together to see if you're on the same page financially. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. She has told me that my love and support has made her feel so special and that Im an amazing guy that deserves to be happy, and I believe her. The GoodTherapy.org Team is not qualified to offer professional advice, but we encourage you to reach out. At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). ), it can really start to drag you down. Dealing with a depressed girl isnt easy and there some moments of greatness and when it happens I take full advantage of it. I know thats going to be the final solution to all this, but is there anything anyone else could recommend? I feel as much like a caretaker as I do a boyfriend. It may be subtle behaviors such as never showing an interest in you or socializing with your friends, or it could be outright insults that damage your sense of self-worth. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. Official HD video of Dragging Me Down. It seems like she doesnt want me around, but also states she has never been this open to anyone before. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. It is characterized by a dull pain accompanied by muscular tension in the neck area." Im the one whos always giving the support and its draining me and she doesnt appreciate it at all and said she cant feel our love anymore. Welcome to Tissue Issues, an advice column from comedian Ash . I feel trapped. I have high blood pressure because of her. She will need manpower to make the move happen. You sound like a great boyfriend supporting her an everything.But where us your relationship right now?I mean,have you become just a caretaker for her,a shoulder to cry on?Or have you guys maintained your relationship to a good enough level so far?This is very important because what happens once she gets over her depression depends a lot on this.If she only sees you like a caretaker,there isnt much of a role for you to play when she does conquer her depression!Please reflect on this and sort things out.I know how it feels to stand by someone and then be abandoned by that same person.I would hate for that to happen to anybody else,especially to someone who has been as supportive as youve been! I stopped seing my friends, I stopped trying to go out, everything was scaring me, literally, I was afraid that a plane will fall down on my home while I was sleeping, all the insane scenarios. Time with her before and now that I do a boyfriend and the! 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